


Calling The Doctor

by DictionaryWrites



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Daddy Issues, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Screenplay/Script Format, Season/Series 06, Sickfic, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23502817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DictionaryWrites/pseuds/DictionaryWrites
Summary: Jake, sick with the flu that's going around, dials the wrong number.
Relationships: Kevin Cozner & Jake Peralta, Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt, Ray Holt & Jake Peralta
Comments: 69
Kudos: 348





	Calling The Doctor

**JAKE AND AMY'S APARTMENT - MORNING - BEDROOM**

Light filters in through the closed curtains of the bedroom,

through which we slowly pan at waist height, in line with

the bed.

One side of the room is preternaturally neat: the bedside

table has a lamp, notebook, pens, and an old-fashioned alarm

clock arranged in perfect parallel to one another, and on

top of the dresser are folded clothes and framed photographs

similarly arranged. The other half of the room is a mess:

clothes are strewn over one half of the bed's footboard,

over the dresser, some drawers of which are open, and

through the half-open door of the wardrobe we see an old

pinata.

Panning over the bed, we see that one side of it is still

very neatly tucked in, with carefully arranged pillows and a

perfectly flat bedspread: the other side is a mess of

tangled sheets, pillows, and blankets.

Slowly, the camera sinks slowly to the floor, under the bed,

and we see **JAKE PERALTA** lying on his side, his eyes tightly

closed, a blanket wrapped around his head. **JAKE** is pale

and drawn, with bags under his eyes and sweat shining on his

skin, and as we zoom out, we see that there are tissues

strewn on the floor around him, and that he is shivering in

his sleep.

**JAKE** groans, shifting his head and then hitting his head on

the bottom of the bed, letting out a low, hoarse noise.

Whilst coughing loudly, he crawls toward his cell phone,

which is resting inside his jeans with his detective badge.

Clumsily, he dials a number. When he speaks, his voice is

audibly hoarse and cracking, and every now and then he will

cough, or pause to groan and clutch his head.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(groaning lowly)

Soup... How do you... Soup? Feel

dizzy, like head full of water,

waves, sick. Real sick. Don't tell

Amy!

She's undercover in Hon'luuuulu

today and it'll distract her if she

knows I'm... Dying.

Pleaaaaase, come get me, my mom is

on that yoga retreat with my dad, I

feel like I'm gonna...

**JAKE** falls back onto the floor, letting out a low wheeze of

whimpered noise.

**JAKE PERALTA**

God, this is so gross, what--

We see **JAKE** gag, and then turn his head, the camera panning

up as he retches.

After a moment, we hear him dialling his phone again.

**CUT TO:**

**99TH PRECINCT - MORNING - CONFERENCE ROOM**

The conference room is dark, with **HITCHCOCK, SCULLY, ROSA**

**DIAZ**, and **TERRENCE JEFFORDS** seated at desks, with mainly

uniformed officers behind them, and Holt stands at the

room's fore, arms crossed over his chest.

Projected onto the back wall is live footage from the back

of a speed boat, where Boyle and Amy are speaking loudly over

the roar of the engine.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

Progress report, Boyle?

**CHARLES BOYLE**

The food here is amazing, I've got

a list of the top 33 restaurants on

Maui and we--

**RAYMOND HOLT**

*Relevant* progress report,

Santiago?

**AMY SANTIAGO**

We're making good progress tracking

the shipments, sir, and the HPD

have some great officers on the

case - me and Boyle are about to go

undercover for the next week to get

in at the resort we mentioned.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

Excellent work - do contact us once

it is safe to do so.

We see Amy look into the camera, peering out of it with her

expression twisting, her brow furrowing. Boyle glances at

her, and then out of the camera again, his expression

mimicking hers.

**AMY SANTIAGO**

Um, where's Jake?

**RAYMOND HOLT**

Peralta is late. This surprises

you?

**AMY SANTIAGO**

I guess. I told him last night this

would be our last contact with you

for the next week, so I thought

he'd be here.

It's obvious that Amy is disappointed and slightly worried,

but we see her steel herself, but then nod.

**AMY SANTIAGO**

(with manufactured

enthusiasm)

Okay, well, bye, guys! See on the

flipside with a whole lot of drugs!

**CHARLES BOYLE**

And restaurant reviews!

The camera is flicked off, and the lights are turned on in

the meeting room. HOLT comes to the podium.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

Is there any word from Peralta?

**ROSA DIAZ**

He hasn't been online in the group

chat all day.

**TERRY's** phone rings, and he stands up to answer it.

**TERRENCE JEFFORDS**

Sharon? Yeah, I can pick some up

after work, no problem.

**TERRY** hangs up, and we see him dial in another number,

bringing it to his ear.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(loudly, brightly)

EYYYY, you've reached

Jake-Jake-Jakeyyyy's phone and I, I

actually started this with way too

much energy and I can't really top

  1. Leave a message after the beep.

(beep!)

**TERRENCE JEFFORDS**

Straight to answer phone, man. He's

over an hour late - sir, do you

mind if I drive by his apartment

and check in on him?

**RAYMOND HOLT**

Go ahead, Lieutenant. Dismissed.

**CUT TO:**

**SOMEONE'S CAR - MORNING**

Bright sunshine comes in through the car window and lands

directly on JAKE's face. He is laid across the backseat of a

car, his head pressed against a pillow, many blankets thrown

over him. Now and then, he groans in pain and coughs,

pressing further down onto the pillow.

**CUT TO:**

**A BEDROOM - AFTERNOON**

**JAKE** is lying in a neatly appointed guest bedroom, which is

decorated in mild vanilla and chocolate tones. He is

underneath a great many blankets, and as we zoom out from

his face, we see a bedside table: laid neatly on it is a box

of tissues, a thermometer, and a jug of water with some

slices of lemon in it.

Groaning, **JAKE** shifts and stirs from his sleep, and we hear

a voice come down the corridor, closer to the bedroom.

**A MALE VOICE OFFSCREEN**

Well, Lieutenant, I can assure you

he's safe and sound. He is

breathing, yes. I'm watching him

breathe, from a distance. I will

not. Yes, thank you, Lieutenant

Jeffords, goodbye.

Blearily, **JAKE** lifts his head. His hair is a mess and his

eyes are barely open, visibly defocused.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Mommy?

**KEVIN COZNER**

(sighing)

No.

Nodding, as though this makes sense, JAKE collapses back

onto the bed.

**CUT TO:**

**JAKE** slowly raises his head from the bed, peering up. The

light in the room has changed, denoting that time has

passed.

**JAKE** blinks several times as **KEVIN** walks closer to the bed,

leaning over and putting the backs of his fingers against

**JAKE's** forehead. **JAKE** winces, opening his mouth, which is

the perfect opportunity for **KEVIN** to slip the thermometer

under his tongue.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Are you still experiencing vertigo,

Jacob?

They wrestle slightly as **JAKE** tries to remove the

thermometer from his mouth and **KEVIN** refuses to let him:

**JAKE** instead slurs around it.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Wha'ssat?

**KEVIN COZNER**

It's not unlike seasickness. Does

it still feel like the world is

swaying beneath you?

**JAKE PERALTA**

Oh my God, yeah, and it's HORRIBLE.

**KEVIN COZNER**

I agree.

KEVIN removes the thermometer, looking at it seriously.

**KEVIN COZNER**

There's been a rather unpleasant

viral flu making the rounds of the

campus as of recent, typified by

sinus inflammation, fever, vertigo,

nausea, and the more

run-of-the-mill cold and flu

symptoms. It looks as though it's

making the rounds of New York, too.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(pointing at the thermometer)

S'that really high?

**KEVIN COZNER**

Higher than I'd like. Do you think

you can drink something?

**JAKE PERALTA**

(nods, then lets out a

yelp of pain)

Gently, **KEVIN** pushes him back against the headboard.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Drink something, and then lie down.

The vertigo is because your inner

ear isn't sensing things the way it

normally does, and the more that

you move your head, the worse it

will be.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(bouncing his head from

side to side)

Oh, okay, if DOCTOR Kevin says

moving my head will--

**KEVIN** moves very rapidly with a plastic basin, shoving it

into **JAKE's** lap, as he gags, and then vomits. **JAKE** groans.

**KEVIN COZNER**

You know, when the person you're

speaking to IS a doctor, using the

title mockingly loses its bite.

**JAKE** groans into the basin, but when **KEVIN** gently lifts his

head to bring a glass of water to his mouth, **JAKE** drinks

from it slowly, taking a few gulps as **KEVIN** removes the

basin again.

**KEVIN COZNER**

(voice low)

Lie down very slowly, there. When

did you last eat something? This is

very watery.

**JAKE PERALTA**

You're rating my puke now?

**KEVIN COZNER**

(bluntly)

One out of five stars.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(starry-eyed, in wonder)

Was that a joke?

**KEVIN COZNER**

When. Did. You. Last. Eat?

**JAKE PERALTA**

I don't know, last night, me and

Amy had dinner together on Skype,

'cause she's undercover from today.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Are you hungry?

**JAKE PERALTA**

I guess.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Then I'll get you some soup.

**JAKE** stares at **KEVIN** as he leaves, then looks blearily

around the room.

**JAKE PERALTA**

What is HAPPENING?

**CUT TO:**

**KEVIN** is holding a tray in his hands and his phone at the

crook of his shoulder as he ascends the stairs. **CHEDDAR THE**

**DOG** slowly goes up each stair ahead of him.

**KEVIN COZNER**

His temperature was 102, which is

higher than it was this morning.

Not since last night, but I'm

bringing him some chicken soup and

some dry toast - whether he can

keep it down depends on the

vertigo. Mmm hmm. Yes, thank you,

Doctor Baum.

**KEVIN** sets the tray on top of the dresser, and then turns to

examine **JAKE**, who is lying on the floor on his belly.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Dare I ask?

**JAKE PERALTA**

You stole my phone, and there's no

TV, and I'm bored.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Your phone is on the left hand

nightstand. On charge.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Oh.

**KEVIN COZNER**

I was about to bring you the

television from Raymond and I's

bedroom.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Oh.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Do you need help?

**JAKE PERALTA**

No.

**JAKE** does not move. **CHEDDAR** sits down next to him, pawing

sympathetically at his shoulder.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(with annoyance)

Yes.

**CUT TO:**

**JAKE** is now back in bed, miserably chewing down dry toast.

**KEVIN** deposits **CHEDDAR** beside him, where he immediately

lies over **JAKE's** feet, and then returns to the television,

set at the end of the bed.

**JAKE PERALTA**

How did I get here?

**KEVIN COZNER**

In my car.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Yeah, okay, coulda figured that.

But did you...

**KEVIN** puts the remote next to **JAKE** on the bed, then pours

him more water.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(eyes shifting, visibly

trying to remember)

Did you KIDNAP me?

**KEVIN COZNER**

No, I did not KIDNAP you.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Uh, seems like you kinda did.

**KEVIN COZNER**

No. Kidnapping is the act of

abducting someone and holding them

captive. I am not holding you

captive.

**JAKE PERALTA**

You did abduct me, though.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Abduction is defined as--

**JAKE PERALTA**

You don't have to keep defining

everything.

**KEVIN COZNER**

(ignoring him)

\-- taking someone illegally by

force or deception. I did not force

or deceive you, Jacob - you called

me and begged me to come and get

you.

**JAKE PERALTA**

No, I didn't!

**KEVIN COZNER**

I had nine voice messages from you

by the time I returned from walking

Cheddar in the park this morning.

Your mother, according to your

delirious ramblings, is on a sex

yoga retreat with your father:

therefore, you phoned me.

**JAKE PERALTA**

I wasn't calling you! I was calling

Terry!

**KEVIN COZNER**

(blinks)

Oh.

**JAKE PERALTA**

But, um, thanks, I guess. For

coming to get me. And making me

soup. And giving me a TV, and also

Cheddar.

**KEVIN COZNER**

(slightly tightly)

It's no trouble.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(softly)

You really dropped everything to

come and look after me when I'm

sick?

**KEVIN COZNER**

Watch your cartoons.

**KEVIN** takes the tray from **JAKE's** lap, and we see the painful

process of **JAKE** lowering himself to lie down. **KEVIN** dims the

lights slightly in the room, patting **CHEDDAR'S** head once

before he slips out of the room.

**CUT TO:**

**99TH PRECINCT - BREAK ROOM - AFTERNOON**

**ROSA DIAZ**

You look gross.

**JAKE PERALTA**

I feel gross.

**ROSA** has her phone on the table, and on the screen, we can

see **JAKE** laid on his side, **CHEDDAR** curled up against his

chest. Now and then, he coughs, then winces, burying his

mouth in a tissue, or against the dog.

**JAKE PERALTA**

But it's weird, right?

**ROSA DIAZ**

I don't know. You guys hang out

sometimes, don't you?

**JAKE PERALTA**

I guess, but a lot of the time it

feels like he just puts up with me

because Holt is like, you know, my

work dad.

Unless this means there's loads of

people that would come running if I

called him saying I was sick and

needed soup. Would you come pick me

up if I did that?

**ROSA DIAZ**

(considers the question,

thinking deeply)

No.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Aw.

**ROSA DIAZ**

But I'd send soup and a hot nurse

to take care of you.

**JAKE PERALTA**

I'm married.

**ROSA DIAZ**

I'm not.

**JAKE PERALTA**

And what about Jocelyn?

**ROSA DIAZ**

We can share a nurse.

**JAKE** laughs, and then groans, lowly. We hear the sound of a

door opening.

**KEVIN COZNER (OFFSCREEN)**

Jacob Peralta, what are you DOING?

**JAKE PERALTA**

Uh, nothing, just watching

cartoons, BYE CARTOONS!

**ROSA DIAZ**

(tonelessly)

Bye.

**CUT TO:**

**COZNER-HOLT HOUSEHOLD - GUEST BEDROOM - EVENING**

We pan slowly through the empty household, through the

living room, up the stairs, and into the guest room.

The room is dimly lit only by the television screen, which

is playing a black and white movie. It is on mute, and there

is little sound except for **JAKE** tossing and turning in bed.

We hear frightening music as **JAKE** sits up and sees a Chuck-E

Cheese style animatronic rat at the foot of his bed.

**THE RAT**

(cheerfully, as psycho

music plays and we cut

closer and closer onto

its face)

Would you like another ice cream,

Jake?

We zoom in on his face as JAKE screams.

**CUT TO:**

**HOLT** enters the guest bedroom with his weapon drawn, but the

only threat he sees is Cheddar, who looks wide-eyed up at

him from his position beside the bed.

**KEVIN** moves very quickly into the guest bedroom, pushing

past **HOLT**, gently pulling **JAKE** up and out of his tangled

sheets. He is babbling, still asleep, about the rat monster

of his dreams, but when **KEVIN** touches him he grabs for the

other man, burying his face against **KEVIN'S** chest.

Apparently undeterred by this, **KEVIN** reaches around the

clinging **JAKE** for the thermometer, managing to put it into

his mouth.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Don't just stare at him, Raymond,

he's delirious. I have cold packs

already ready in the fridge, beside

the white wine.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

(holstering his weapon)

Right.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Don't let it get me, don't let it

get me, don't let it, don't let

it--

**KEVIN COZNER**

It isn't going to get you, Jacob,

and in any case, you're a grown man

with a decade's police experience

and a license to carry. I don't

believe a mechanised rodent is

going to be any match for you.

To **KEVIN's** visible surprise, this terse comfort apparently

works: **JAKE** relaxes slightly, his breathing beginning to

even out, and **KEVIN** examines the thermometer.

**KEVIN COZNER**

This is the third time this

rat idea has arisen.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

(handing over cold packs,

one of which KEVIN

immediately puts on

**JAKE'S** head)

Do you want me to call Doctor Baum?

**KEVIN COZNER**

If it rises any more before

morning, I'll call her.

**KEVIN** sets **JAKE** back onto the bed, but when he tries to

rise, **JAKE** cries out, wrapping his arms more solidly around

**KEVIN's** belly: automatically, **KEVIN** lays his hand on the top

of **JAKE's** hair, although he does wince at how sweaty it is

under his palm. **HOLT** arches his eyebrows.

**KEVIN COZNER**

(quietly)

Would you get me my book, please?

**RAYMOND HOLT**

(seriously)

You're really very worried about

him, aren't you?

**KEVIN COZNER**

(not looking up from

**JAKE**)

You aren't?

**RAYMOND HOLT**

(with a small, indulgent

smile)

Not with you looking after him.

**KEVIN COZNER**

(looking up from **JAKE**,

returns the smile)

We did agree not to have children,

you know.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

(nods, considering this)

I seem to recall, at the age of

twenty-six, the two of us agreeing

we would never have a dog.

**KEVIN COZNER**

(with faux seriousness)

I don't recall that.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

(flirtatiously)

Don't you?

**JAKE PERALTA**

He wants me to eat his pizza!

**HOLT** opens his mouth, and then closes it, slipping from the

room.

KEVIN COZNER

(in a reasonable tone)

Well, you don't have to. Refuse the

pizza.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Okay... Fuck your pizza, rat man!

**KEVIN COZNER**

(frowning)

Not exactly what I said.

**KEVIN** carefully sits up on the bed, against the headboard,

and sets **JAKE'S** pillows against his side, so that **JAKE** can

lie on them. When **CHEDDAR** jumps up onto the bed again, **JAKE**

clutches the dog to his chest, and **HOLT** carefully turns the

bedside light on, handing **KEVIN** his book.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

Aren't you working tomorrow

afternoon?

**KEVIN COZNER**

I'll call in. Good night again,

Raymond.

**RAYMOND HOLT**

Good night, Kevin.

They kiss before **HOLT** return to the other room, and **KEVIN**

puts on his reading glasses as **JAKE** sleeps against him.

**CUT TO:**

**MORNING**

**JAKE** slowly crawls out of bed and to the en suite. It is a

long and laborious process, involving many dramatic

movements, but when he exits the bathroom, he looks

refreshed, though still sick and tired.

Keeping his head noticeably very still, he drinks from the

water on the bedside table, and eats a few mouthfuls of the

toast waiting for him there before lying down.

**KEVIN** enters the room with a bowl and spoon, which he sets

on the table beside the toast.

**KEVIN COZNER**

Yes, Andrea, I'm calling to let

you know I won't be able to make it

in this afternoon, and possibly not

tomorrow, either.

No, Raymond is fine - our son is

sick. I believe it is the same bug,

yes - vertigo and fever, certainly.

I will let you know, yes. Thank

you.

(to Jake) Are you feeling better?

**JAKE PERALTA**

Did you just lie to your boss?

**KEVIN COZNER**

(with a note of challenge)

At what point did I lie?

**JAKE** smiles, just slightly, and looks down at **CHEDDAR**.

**JAKE PERALTA**

Is that more soup?

**KEVIN COZNER**

No, it's ice cream.

**JAKE PERALTA**

ICE CREAM?

**KEVIN COZNER**

To bring down your fever.

**JAKE PERALTA**

(obviously not believing

this can be true)

What flavour is it? Is it something

gross, like rum and raisin?

**KEVIN COZNER**

Raymond picked it up for you from

the bodega before he left for work.

It is a flavour called (pronounced

with scepticism as to whether it is

fit for human consumption) Bubblegum

Blast. It is blue.

**JAKE PERALTA**

I love you, Dad.

**KEVIN COZNER**

(handing over the bowl)

Let's not take it too far.

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> For the time being, I'm no longer writing fanfic: I publish original works now. 
> 
> My debut novel, Heart of Stone, is a slice-of-life romance between a vampire and his personal secretary, and I hope it's the first of many. 
> 
> You can check out more about my published work [here](https://johannesevans.tumblr.com/post/629449536272826368/landing-page). I am also on Twitter. 
> 
> Thanks so much for your support and your wonderful feedback on my fanfic! It's been essential in pushing myself to move toward original work.


End file.
